Doughnut
Here is our choice selection of the "and finally" news stories from the Monday Briefing in 2017. Credit goes to my colleagues for tracking down these stories and for forging the right pun or quip. The Monday Briefing is taking a break until Monday 8th January. In the meantime the Deloitte economics team - Ian, Debo, Alex, Rebecca and Tom - wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

British civil servants have been asked not to bring cake into work because it could be a “public health hazard” to “those who have difficulty resisting”, according to a Civil Service blog by a member of the Treasury’s “Wellbeing Workstream” – exsponged

Despite a new Paddington Bear film and apparent popularity among artisan producers and cocktail makers, marmalade is increasingly the preserve of older UK consumers; with just 1% of sales of the once popular orange spread now going to under 28 year olds – Middle Aged Spread

An 80-year-old woman delayed a flight to Shanghai after throwing coins into the plane engine superstitiously believing it would bring good luck - on a wing and a prayer

A workman fixing an ATM in Texas was saved by police officers after getting stuck in the room behind the machine and sending ‘help me’ notes through the ATM receipt slot – A Trapped Man

An autonomous security robot designed to spot misdemeanours, criminals and parking violations in a Washington DC shopping centre has had to be decommissioned after apparently taking its own life and driving into a fountain – Darth Wader

The French president, Mr Macron, came under fire for spending €26,000 on a makeup artist in the three month period since he entered the Elysée Palace – Moolah-rouge

P.S. UK wage growth remains well below the current 3.1% inflation rate. However we think that record job vacancies, low unemployment and slowing immigration are likely to bolster wage growth next year

P.P.S. The first EU summit in over two years took place last week. Ahead of the summit, Donald Tusk, European Council president, criticised the current EU asylum policy, branding mandatory refugee quotas “ineffective” and “highly divisive”. The subsequent row between EU leaders highlighted deep divisions between the group of central European countries, including Poland, Hungary, the Czech Republic and Slovakia, and the Western EU pro-quota countries. Mr Tusk acknowledged how “when it comes to migration, it divides [the EU] between east and west”. Angela Merkel added “we don’t need just solidarity for the management of borders, but we also need solidarity inside [the EU]”